-

I’ve been sat downstairs since twenty past 9 this morning waiting for two deliveries and so far none have arrived. It’s twenty past 3. And it could be 8 o’clock tonight before it arrives, if it even does and then if it doesn’t I have to start this whole process again tomorrow. There isn’t enough information on the tracking sites, they should have likes trackers in each van so you can see the exact location on google maps or something of the van that’s holding your parcel. 

I went to Leicester Airport to photograph a lady and her plane, which happens to have been made in 1945, and she ‘introduced’ me to a plane that was built in 1927, woah. 

The snow’s been crazy, so other than that I’ve been pretty house bound. Once you get on the roads it’s fine, but as I live on a farm we don’t get much traffic to help keep the tracks clear, nor do we get grit. So Dan and I built a snowman - I’m pro at building snowmen, by the way - called Dimitri.

Today, I went to see Les Miserables with Dan and oh, my god it was so unbelievable. It was horrifically sad and insanely beautiful. Once I started crying I just couldn’t stop and honestly, no film has ever made me cry that much. My mum really wants to see it now so I might have to go again with her if she goes just because wow. All the cast were incredible, I loved each and every one of them. Dan hates musicals and even he enjoyed it and this film is nothing but singing - I think a couple of sentences get just spoken but that’s it. 

Honestly, everyone should go see this, regardless of what you think of musicals or if you’ve seen it at the theatre and hated it or just whatever your reason is for not wanting to go - forget it and go. 

trying to sort through my college work and type up clear to do lists for all my projects but I’m just getting distracted and emotional when certain songs come on, urgh. 

Things just aren’t going too good right now and everything’s just so relatable and just urgh basically. 

I’m actually in the process of searching for and applying for jobs at the minute. I know I have a job, and I do enjoy my job, but they’re starting to annoy me. Generally, the people are really nice, it’s more the management/people who deal with employment that are annoying me. They keep messing me around, like asking me to work extra hours and then changing their mind but not bothering to tell me so I turn up and they send me home again. They keep telling me that they’re going to sort a permanent shift for me, but that doesn’t seem to be happening. I’ve even applied for a few permanent positions but they’ve given them to people who already have permanent positions there. My temporary contract actually ended - something that they’ve just been renewing because they claim that they do really want me to work there - and they’ve actually ‘forgot’ to do it so yet again I turned up to work and they sent me home. They have renewed it now, but that’s not really the point. Don’t get me wrong, I do appreciate my job and I am grateful for it, and I am aware how much other people need jobs and so on, but it’s just getting a bit frustrating. Plus, as I am currently only a temp, they can just turn around at the end of my contract and say that they don’t need me anymore, which would obviously land me without a job which would make things slightly difficult. 

So as much as I love my job and love the people there and I won’t be quitting any time soon, I’ve decided it’s time to try and get a permanent job elsewhere, or at least a temporary contract that’s longer than 4 weeks. 

I had to go into town today to get some clothes pick up some clothes for a photoshoot, but after me and Dan went to Fosse Park because I wanted to show Dan the new New Look, not that he cares but anyway, haha. I ended up going to Boots and I got 3 new Essie polishes because it was 3 for 2 and I loved my other one so I just had to really. The colours are gorgeous and I can’t wait to wear them all. I’ve also ordered the most adorable lamp from Dolly Bow Bow and I can’t wait for it to arrive so I’ll post a photo when it does. Oh, I also got a Casper movie because we used to have it on video and I used to watch it all the time so I had to get it for only £3. I’m gonna go watch it now!

I feel like I haven’t just blogged in a while now. I’m feeling completely swamped with college work and I can’t think of any interesting ideas at all for any of my projects - I’m just shooting anything and everything in the hope that eventually something will go right, although so far this approach has not worked, ha. I just can’t seem to think at the minute whenever I get close to doing anything photographic, any ideas that I come up with are extremely few and far between and never any good. I’m also feeling constantly exhausted mentally and physically. And I barely see Dan anymore because I’m always busy or sleeping because I’m so tired from being so busy. I’m working as hard as I can to get ahead on work during the week in the home that, by the weekends, I’ll be able to forget about it, but it just seems to be piling up more and more each day. The project I’m struggling most on is a self portrait project - we have to end up with 3 images of ourselves, past, present and future. One of the images has to contain ourselves physically in some way, whilst the others can represent us in other ways without us literally being in the shot. If anyone has any ideas/things to look at to help me think of what to do, I’d greatly appreciate it!

I finally brought my bare Minerals cleanser! It’s so perfect and only £15 and the bottle’s huge so I’m expecting it to last ages. No more make up wipes for me! 

I’ve been taking a lot of photos recently, although I’m really lacking inspiration for my projects so I’m just taking photos of everything in the hope I’ll get something, haha. I need to start putting together a sketchbook of my ‘personal work’ so that I can give that in at the end of the year, too. Dolly’s sitting next to me and her tummy keeps gargling and it’s really upsetting her, aw, ha. 

I want to go on a proper holiday next year, I’m looking at Morocco. Anyone know any nice places to stay in Morocco and any places to visit whilst there?

I’m getting slightly fed up with people commenting on my weight. I don’t understand why people think it’s ok to freely comment on the fact that someone’s weight is maybe slightly below average - you most certainly wouldn’t comment on someone’s weight it they were slightly above average and I fail to see the difference. Since starting my new job, it seems that people I have never even met before seem to think there’s no problem with it. It’s just as offensive for someone to jokingly call a smaller person ‘tin ribs’ or something as it is to call someone slightly larger something like ‘pudding hips’ or whatever phrases people use for larger people. I don’t enjoy my weight being pointed out, just as larger people don’t. I am in no way worryingly skinny, nor have I ever been, so I’m afraid I have no excuse for people who feel the need to comment on my weight. 

It is offensive and rude and unnecessary. I don’t care if you mean it ‘as a joke’ - you would not so casually joke about a larger person’s weight so why do people think it’s acceptable to joke about mine?! A person’s weight is something personal to that individual, therefore it has nothing to do with the rest of the population so everyone should just keep all their comments to themselves. 

So tempted to, once my hair has grown enough which will probably be never, dye it brown and ombre it. But I hate my hair brown so it’s such a difficult decision. Luckily, I have nasty short hair so I don’t have to think about it too much just yet.

There’s an absolutely adorable rat in Pets At Home. I don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl because I don’t want to tempt myself into buying it. For some reason I have a feeling it’s a she, which would be amazing cos she could be Hermione with Ron and Harry, ha. If she’s a he, then she’d be Neville. But if she is a she, there’s no chance of me getting her until Ron and Harry have been castrated, which I’m hopefully going to get booked next week, at least for one of them. I really want to get a bigger cage for the boys but cages are expensive and they don’t actually need a bigger cage even if I eventually get a third. I should go clean them out whilst I’m thinking about it actually.